Seven Surprising Lessons a “Helicopter” Parent Learned from Her Asperger Child

I felt utterly helpless. There was something profoundly wrong with my daughter, but I couldn’t help her — me the trained psychologist, the one with the master’s degree in social work and a doctoral degree in psychology. But this was long before the Asperger’s Syndrome diagnosis became official in the United States. (Now it’s classified as a high functioning form Autism Spectrum Disorder.) I began wondering about Bianca’s social skills by the end of first grade. She never seemed to play with other children and actually shunned them if they got too rambunctious. I dismissed my concerns and chalked it up to her sensitive, fanciful spirit. Then the “wonder years” (age 6 to 11) arrived. This is when children enthusiastically explore their newfound independence. Their curiosity expands beyond the family yet they are still delightfully innocent. Although they are cultivating friends and acquiring social and academic knowledge at school, they really do still adore their parents. They are also learning about social context. In other words, they are developing a theory of mind that is a prerequisite for empathy. Empathy leads to a whole host of social skills required in the worlds of children and adults. Bianca’s “wonder years” were anything but typical. That’s when I started to get desperate. I became a classic helicopter mother. I found all kinds of ways to work around the school system. I hired tutors to coax her. I negotiated high school credit from ou...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Aspergers Autism Children and Teens Parenting Personal Psychology Psychotherapy Stories Self-Help Asperger Syndrome Asperger's disorder Autism Spectrum Child Development Education helicopter parenting Social Skills Source Type: blogs