The Dying Don ’t Need Your Permission to Let Go

This article is the seventh in a series of articles where I take each assumption from the original article and explore the concept in greater depth to include implications and possible interventions. In my last article, I wrote about theassumption that hospice patients will reveal the secrets to the universe.Here is our next assumption: You should tell your loved one, “It’s okay to let go.”The idea that a dying person is waiting for permission from their loved ones permeates many articles about the final days of dying. There is some truth to the idea that some patients may linger because they worry about the ones they are leaving behind. However, this concern about the bereaved is only one of many possible reasons that patients do not die when we think they should.Consider this. How do you know it is okay to go? Have you died before? Do you know what it feels like? No, you don ’t--none of us do. Dying is scary stuff, even for patients who have a strong belief in the afterlife or heaven.Several years ago I had a patient, “Betty,” who told me that she was not afraid to die because she had a vision of her deceased husband and he told her everything was going to be okay. Then one day I was called to the house because she was “dying.” The chaplain, an aide, a few family members and I stood around the bed. The ch aplain began to play music and the patient yelled out, “NO” several times. The patient continued to be in distress until we stopped the music and every...
Source: Pallimed: A Hospice and Palliative Medicine Blog - Category: Palliative Care Tags: assumptions bedside family intervention lizzy lizzy miles social work social worker Source Type: blogs