The Civil War Raging Inside My Body

This piece by Andrea Fitzgerald originally appeared on The Establishment, a new multimedia site funded and run by women. Content warning: discussion of calorie counting and weight loss. The last time I downloaded MyFitnessPal ― the “Free Calorie Counter, Diet & Exercise Journal” ― I was studying abroad in England for the year and going to formal dinners with three to five courses every week. I was wearing mini skirts that I pretended worked as both dinner and club attire, I was six months less wise, and 15 pounds too heavy. (Or rather, I thought I was.) After one Wednesday night formal—before the club but about six drinks in—my friend leaned over and whispered: “I don’t feel good about the way I look.” So, I looked. She was beautiful, flushed from wine, a ruddy pink on her lips, wearing a little black romper that accentuated her petite figure. I remember saying, as I gently grabbed her forearm, “Me neither,” but what I meant was, of course. Of course.Who—especially two 21-year-old girls surrounded by a bunch of dashing British men in tuxedos—feels good about the way they look? And this question—which was actually a realization and not a quandary—was haunting me, days later. I was supposed to be writing a paper on Woolf, but instead I was trying to think about a time I ever felt good about the way I looked. I wracked my brain, starting in high school. I did not look g...
Source: Healthy Living - The Huffington Post - Category: Consumer Health News Source Type: news