We Don ’ t Always Have to Say We ’ re Fine — and That ’ s Fine

We put so. much. effort into the illusion of being fine. There’s a picture saved on my computer that I will probably never show another person. It was taken a few hours before my mother died, at my daughter’s insistence, her sweet 4-year-old smile hovering over the planes and angles cancer had carved into my mom’s face. 15 Beautiful Ways To Reclaim Your Life When You’re Broken We do weird things in death sometimes, and my mom’s left eye just wouldn’t stay closed. Neither would her mouth, hanging open with each long, slow, laborious breath. I guess if you weren’t me, this picture could look like a nightmare. I guess, even for me, it still can be. There are times when I need to feel that loss with bone-breaking intensity, like today, when my new normal feels like betrayal, so I pull that image up and look at it for long moments, poking at my tender heart with a stick. I’m not OK, on this day, in this moment. But when an acquaintance passed me in the checkout line of the grocery store and asked me how I was, I flipped my smile switch and cheerfully replied, “I’m fine!” But I’m not fine. So many of us are not fine. So many of us are not even remotely OK today. I’ll go first. I’m not OK today. Today, I made the call to have my sweet old dog put down. Friday at 2 PM, I’ll say goodbye to a friend I’ve had for sixteen years. Her back legs barely work anymore, and her bowel function is bas...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Depression Disorders Grief and Loss Publishers YourTango Anguish Bad Day broken Cassie Fox Compassion Crying death Emotions empty energy fine Lie loving Muriel Rukeyser Pain painful Sadness strong Truth vuln Source Type: blogs