I Thought I Could - But Couldn ' t

I woke up this morning determined to go with my husband to our marriage counseling appointment. I have been ranting and raving about her since our appointment a week ago. After that appointment, I thought I would get over it and just forget it, but I have not. My frustration and irritation - or is it flat out anger? has only worsened day by day.I had made a plan. Before the appointment, no Adderall, no coffee, and klonipin. Zone out the best I could (the medication wouldn ' t do that, but I have had many occasions in the past to get plenty of practice) unless asked a direct question, which should automatically pull me out of my disconnected state.I woke up early, followed my pre-appointment plan, including the klonipin.. I sat on the couch and played Candy Crush which is relaxing - it makes me focus on the game and not think about anything else. It doesn ' t stress me out at all either like most games do.I realized quickly, as my mind was going to the appointment this morning and going through scenarios in my mind, it would not be the best idea to see her today. Not for me, not for her. My irritation level has been growing and growing daily, I realize how hurt I am, annoyed, and if I told her, it wouldn ' t matter.Why? Because she is a therapist, she is supposed to be the professional. Anything I say, I cannot imagine her owning it. Maybe that is how she actually would see it, so what would be the purpose o...
Source: bipolar.and.me - Category: Psychiatry Source Type: blogs