Having Fun in the Pit of Despair

Many spiritual teachers advocate the principle of detachment, which means being unattached to outcomes. The reasoning is that attachment to outcomes creates unnecessary suffering. Life is full of surprises, and if you become overly attached to specific outcomes, you’re likely to create extra stress, frustration, worry, and disappointment for yourself. So why bother with this needless suffering? Dispassionate detachment is a popular idea, especially in Buddhism. It claims to help people transcend neediness and clinginess — if they practice this principle enough. But for many people, it’s impractical to consistently apply this principle in real life. On one level it seems clear to me that people suffer some emotional distress when they become overly attached and clingy to specific outcomes. I’ve received dozens of emails from people asking me how they can capture and secure a specific relationship partner who doesn’t reciprocate their feelings. I’ve also received abundant emails from people asking how they can let go of such clinginess because it’s eating them up inside, and they really want to stop obsessing. I’ve had my own challenging lessons with attachment to deal with, especially in my first several years as an entrepreneur. I set specific and measurable goals, and I became attached to them. I grew increasingly frustrated when I had to deal with setbacks. I tried not to let the setbacks bother me, but they did. Even when I d...
Source: Steve Pavlina's Personal Development Blog - Category: Psychiatry & Psychology Authors: Tags: Creating Reality Emotions Source Type: blogs