The Mother Who Never Was

I don’t write about my mother often. Of all my dysfunctional childhood relationships, my experience with my mother is the most painful. I believe that small children have a disproportionate need for the feminine nurturing energy. When it’s not available, I think the pain runs deeper. I am not suggesting that fathers are not needed. They are desperately needed. And their interactions with their children are critical to shaping that child’s future belief systems and relationships. But for me, the lack of nurturing maternal energy seemed to leave a deeper mark. I think that some of my angst comes from my core belief that women should be protecting women. If we can’t count on each other, if we can’t come together to fight this battle against gender oppression, do we have a hope of moving society toward equality for all genders? Can we ask our male allies to do the work against gender oppression that we are not willing to do? But for my mother, this oppression was a way of life. It was all she ever knew. She never had the innocent childhood we expect our children to live. She never had the opportunity to grow up. She was not supported when she spoke up about her abuse. She was not able to escape her abuser. She lived the same childhood that I did. She formed her own ways of coping. Her coping mechanisms were coming from her child’s mind because she never had a chance to develop adult coping mechanisms. Some of her brain development was stunted at...
Source: World of Psychology - Category: Psychiatrists and Psychologists Authors: Tags: Anger Brain and Behavior Caregivers Children and Teens Disorders Family General Grief and Loss Parenting Personal PTSD Trauma abuse mom relationship Mother Daughter mother relationship Psychological abuse relationship wit Source Type: blogs