What It’s Like to Be Inpatient with Dissociative Identity Disorder: Part 2

Looking back on my/our times inpatient, I see an array of different experiences. While at first I felt locked up, caged and incapacitated, later on I felt safer and more in agency of myself. My first inpatient experience was in 2010. I was in a psychiatric hospital from April to June 2010. The rooms were cold, with white walls and loud air conditioning. I always fell asleep watching the wall, the shadows portrayed on it by the blinds. The worst of all was when the visits went from once a week to none. When my phone was taken away from me. When I wasn’t allowed to see my parents. Being caged in a room with no lock, no security, no privacy, without any contact into the world — and no hugs, that was what the hospital was like. I can’t believe I went there by choice. The hospital rooms I’ve been in still aren’t all that comfortable. The one I’m in right now is a mis­match of blues and purples (with a blue ceiling, of all things!) and the clock on the front wall is loud and crooked. Here we fall asleep with not just our teddybear but also with our unicorn, bundled up in surprisingly comfortable hospital sheets. Here there is much less need for the sort of musical escapism I did as a teenage patient. Here I am a subject, an agent in my own treatment, and my folks no longer dictate my medical ways. On the contrary, I/we decide how and when and why I am treated. I was visited by a friend last night, and would most likely be visited by my family and other friends if I...
Source: Psych Central - Category: Psychiatry Authors: Tags: Caregivers Children and Teens Disorders Dissociation Dissociative General Medications Personal Stories Psychiatry Psychology Treatment Dissociative Disorder Hospital Involuntary Commitment Mental Disorder Psychiatric Hospital Source Type: news