Trigger Warnings: The Good, the Bad, the Pancakes

Seven years ago, I would start at least one day of the week by running to IHOP. IHOP is not at all close to my house. But I really like pancakes, so to afford myself the caloric intake of two pancakes with a tiny smear of butter and a tablespoon of syrup, I would run. Many miles. For two pancakes. Pancakes are a trigger for me -- but only IHOP pancakes. Also In-Shape fitness, the gym I went to every day. My bike. Lululemon running shorts. Scales. Mirrors. Tape measures. The trigger-worthy experiences started well before the pancakes. When I was 9, I was physically and verbally abused by my stepfather, and in the years prior, by other stepfathers/boyfriends/friends of my mother, and my mother herself. When I was 13, I was sexually abused by my best friend's brother. When I was 20, I lost my first daughter during pregnancy. I'm divorced. I'm the child of an addict. I'm the child of a mentally ill person. I had an eating disorder I didn't even know was an eating disorder. I have body dysmorphia, anxiety, depression, OCD, bipolar disorder -- the DSM-IV is essentially an anthology of my life. My triggers include (but are certainly not limited to): sexual abuse, physical abuse, infant/child loss, bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, OCD, addiction, eating disorders, pancakes, gyms (but only In-Shape), bikes, running shorts, scales, mirrors, tape measures, and asparagus (because my mother made me eat it for three meals, until I vomited). I write and edit for Ravishly, so t...
Source: Healthy Living - The Huffington Post - Category: Consumer Health News Source Type: news